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The three main concepts, which form the
basis of the advice we give to people who experience a kind
of misbalance in their life, are "autonomy", "relations" and
"quality". For example, "addiction to drugs" can be seen as
a misbalance. Drug addicts have lost their
freedom, they strive for quality in their life by seeking
good experiences, but in the mean time the quality of their
life has deteriorated. Another example is people who are caught
in an addictive relationship and are looking for love, but
are not experiencing freedom.
There are 8 combinations of positive or negative
presence or absence of the three concepts
"love", "freedom" and "quality". Only 1 of these 8 combinations
(freedom inside and outside, receiving and giving love, experiencing
or creating! quality) represents a happy balance, like the
golden rule.
In the table below we enumerate
the 8 possible combinations of misbalance and we describe
the resulting conditions in terms of "weakness" and contrast
it with the "virtue" to be regained. Nobody is perfect, life
is a constant rebalancing, like a car following the track
of the road.
| Addiction |
Boredom |
Loneliness |
-
Weakness |
|
| Autonomy |
Quality |
Relations |
|
|
| Freedom |
Creativity |
Love |
|
Virtue
+ |
| + |
+ |
+ |
no |
Balance |
(1)
This optimal condition of balance is not stationary
but is to be sought permanently. Complete happiness
(peak
experience) only lasts for a short while. |
| |
|
|
-
Weakness |
|
| - |
+ |
- |
Pride |
Humility |
| (2)
Seeing ourselves as we are and not comparing
ourselves to others is humility. Pride and vanity are
competitive. If someone else's pride really bothers you,
you have a lot of pride. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| + |
+ |
- |
Avarice /
Greed |
Generosity |
| (3)
This is about more than money. Generosity means
letting others get the credit or praise. It is giving
without having expectations of the other person. Greed
wants to get its "fair share" or a bit more. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| - |
+ |
+ |
Envy |
Love |
| (4)
"Love is patient, love is kind." Love actively
seeks the good of others for their sake. Envy resents
the good others receive or even might receive. Envy is
almost indistinguishable from pride at times. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| + |
- |
- |
Wrath / Anger |
Kindness |
| (5)
Kindness means taking the tender approach, with
patience and compassion. Anger is often our first reaction
to the problems of others. Impatience with the faults
of others is related to this. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| - |
- |
+ |
Lust |
Self
control |
| (6)
Self control and self mastery prevent pleasure
from killing the soul by suffocation. Legitimate pleasures
are controlled in the same way an athlete's muscles are:
for maximum efficiency without damage. Lust is the self-destructive
drive for pleasure out of proportion to its worth. Sex,
power, or image can be used well, but they tend to go
out of control. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| + |
- |
+ |
Gluttony |
Faith and Temperance |
| (7)
Temperance accepts the natural limits of pleasures
and preserves this natural balance. This does not pertain
only to food, but to entertainment and other legitimate
goods, and even the company of others. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| - |
- |
- |
Sloth |
Zeal |
| (8)
Zeal is the energetic response of the heart to
higher causes. The other forms of "weakness" work together
to deaden the spiritual senses so we first become slow
to respond to spirituality and then drift completely into
the sleep of complacency. |
| Addiction |
Boredom |
Loneliness |
-
Weakness |
|
| Autonomy |
Quality |
Relations |
|
|
| Freedom |
Creativity |
Love |
|
Virtue
+ |
"Addiction" (or overweight as a result of eating disorder) is
easily recognized as a result of a loss of self control (6)
. On this site we give advice in the
restoration of "freedom", "love" and "quality". We present those
books that deal with these aspects in their targets. In the
description and recognition of the symptoms the authors give,
you will hopefully be able to make the right purchase.
Restoration of the balance of "love", "freedom"
and "quality" leads to happiness.
In the maintenance of the balance it is important not to waste
energy by chosing the wrong goals or failing to evaluate your
aspirations. Always keep in mind the Pareto
principle (80/20 rule) and the right tracks (8
paths).
Read further on related topics:
Advice
about "addictions"
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